Maude Marie Sullivan was my maternal grandmother and she was born on April 15, 1913, outside of Boston in Lowell, Massachusetts. She was my only living grandmother that I ever knew. I grew up in Salt Lake City, Utah and she lived thousands of miles away in New England. She came to visit every 5 years or so, and I can’t say that I had a close loving relationship with her but this woman made an impression on me. She had the subtlety of a sledgehammer, she never minced words. She would always tell you what she thought about something, whether you wanted to know or not. Nevertheless, this woman made an impression on me that I cannot deny.
Her upbringing was not easy
As a grandchild of Irish immigrants, she grew up in the small town of Lowell, Massachusetts which was once known as the country’s largest textile manufacturing hub and industrial center. The city was filled with textile mills but soon collapsed during the Great Depression. My grandmother was born, raised, and lived her whole life in this small town. However, my grandmother was a fiercely independent woman who learned to drive without my grandfather knowing and he was not happy about it. She worked as a Honeywell inspector for many years, making her way and her own money. I think that independent spirit is what I have always been drawn to.
my relationship with my grandmother
Being one of ten kids, I had to find ways to stand out if I wanted my grandmother to take notice of me. When I was little, I was told that out of all the girls, I had the greatest likeness to my mother. My older sister used to put my hair in french braids, much like my mother wore as a child and my grandmother would continuously say in her New England accent, “Oh my gawd Hal, look at Jennefah, isn’t she a spittin’ image of Dibby?” Dibby was their pet name for my Mom. In other words, I knew I had a tug at their heartstrings going for me.
Some of my fondest memories of my grandma were from when she came to visit during the holidays and would bake with my mom. My first memory of making Christmas cookies was with my grandma. We all came together to help roll out the dough, cut out shapes with cookie cutters, and then decorate them. I also remember her making dozens of cherry pies with my mom, due to an abundance of cherries that we received from a neighbor. My mom froze the pies and it seemed like we were pulling those pies out of the freezer for years. My mom was not a big fan of cooking, so when my grandmother came to town, there seemed to be more baking and a greater air of domesticity in our home, that wasn’t normally there. To this day, making Christmas cookies with my kids is one of my favorite things to do!
seeing her from the eyes of an adult
When I was 18, I didn’t go to college right away. Instead, I worked as a nanny for a family in Boston. I missed my family a lot, and on weekends I would take the train to visit my grandparents in Lowell, an hour away. Spending time with them was really special because I didn’t have to compete with my siblings for their attention. During this time, I realized that my grandmother did love me, even though she had a hard time showing it in the past. We were able to spend time together and appreciate each other’s gifts. I learned that my grandmother had a hard time expressing her love with so many grandkids around, but when she was able to focus on one person, she could really show her love and attention. Spending time with my grandparents made me feel less homesick and it felt like I was home.
lessons learned
I think the most important thing I learned from my grandmother would be to not be afraid of the strength of character that I possess as a woman and to not feel as though I need to apologize for that or make myself smaller to be more palatable to someone else. Additionally, although she could be abrasive at times, she was the most unapologetic person I knew when it came to the air of confidence this woman showed the world. She may have had her insecurities underneath it all, but she rarely let anyone see them.
One of the most memorable things about my grandmother is what we have lovingly dubbed as, “Maudisms” which are hilarious quips and quotes that make you scratch your head and say, “Huh?” You will find these hilarious quotes sprinkled throughout our site as we feel that they still ring true today as words of wisdom from a spicy broad who lived a lot of life and had a unique perspective of the world. Here are some of my favorites:
Consequently, you can see that this woman was very complex. She wasn’t your typical grandmother who showered kisses and affection on those she loved. I think she felt that it was her responsibility to help her loved ones be strong for the difficult struggles that lay ahead, due to the challenges she faced in her life. She did this in odd, quirky ways but I truly believe that she did the best she could, with what she was given. Because of the sacrifices she made, I have the opportunities today in my life, due in part, to her. This blog is my way of saying thank you to her and I hope it inspires you to look at and ponder the sacrifices your loved ones made for you. Most importantly, if you are lucky enough to still have your grandmother in your life, spend time with her and learn about her life and who she is at her core because she won’t be with you forever. We aren’t guaranteed anything but THIS day.
xo J
Over To You
Tell me about YOUR favorite grandparent memories! What was the most important lesson you learned from them? Did they say or do funny, quirky things that stuck with you? Share this with me! I want to hear from you!
