Stress-free wedding planning – that even exists? Planning a wedding might seem like a daunting task but having recently planned my own dream wedding, I would love to provide you with some valuable tips to help make this process a little less stressful. We’ve done the work so that you don’t have to! Full disclosure, this was my second wedding – I was lucky enough to have found love again later in life – so planning a wedding this time around was so different from when I was in my twenties. My perspective of life is so different at this stage of my life. I put so much more of my energy into creating a stress-free day surrounded by some of my favorite people on this planet. I wanted to have an epic party that we would all never forget. Mission accomplished! Don’t miss our Save the Date video at the bottom of this post!
Pinterest is Your Best Friend
One of the best ways I’ve found to stress-free wedding planning is once you get engaged, I recommend starting a wedding Pinterest Board and begin pinning anything and everything that inspires you. This is creativity time. You are trying to figure out what appeals to you – what makes your liver smile – which is basically that gut instinct we all have but tend to second guess. When I started planning, I thought I wanted a formal wedding, but when I started looking at the pins on my wedding board after a few months, I realized that I was leaning towards a completely different look and feel. If you have some quirky things that you would like to incorporate into your wedding like a music theme or a Star Wars theme (seriously, it’s a thing – ask Amanda, the force is strong with that one. Check out her post about the fact that There are No Rules that you need to adhere to when planning your wedding ).
You will find so much inspiration on Pinterest – so pin with abandon. This can be a great tool to share with your vendors to help them understand what kinds of things you are drawn to. My favorite thing to do at night was crawl into bed and start scrolling and pinning things I loved for my dream wedding.
Buy a Wedding Planning Workbook
My advice? Give yourself at least a year to plan your dream wedding. Buy/download a wedding planner notebook – I purchased The Knot’s Ultimate Wedding Planner & Organizer. It’s nice to have a place to write down or collect your inspirations. I used this notebook and it really helped me to stay organized. I even saved a friend’s wedding invitations in the organizer for inspiration. Before I went to try on dresses – I printed some of my favorite images and made notes in the margins about what I loved about the dress to help the wedding dress stylist understand my taste. I’m a tactile person, so I appreciate flipping through pages.
One of the things that proved invaluable were a set of Google Sheets templates that Amanda had created for her wedding. She created a budget, planner, and to-do worksheets with different tabs for each area of the wedding. They became my bible for the wedding and truly made planning my wedding fun and manageable! There are a host of digital wedding planning workbooks and software options to choose from like the Wedding Planning Assistant, so you can have everything at your fingertips at a moment’s notice.
100 Day Journal
I got this amazing idea from a pin I saw on Pinterest – for the bride and groom to keep a journal of the last 100 days of their engagement. I purchased journals for my fiancé and I, with the suggestion to him that this could be his wedding day gift to me. To which he replied, “isn’t my wedding gift to you, your engagement and wedding rings ?” Isn’t he adorable? Hey, we have to patiently bring these guys along.
Now my husband is not much for journaling but when he writes in cards – it’s epic, so I knew if he put his mind to this task, it would be the most amazing gift that we could give ourselves both in writing to and receiving each other’s love letters. Our journey that led up to our dream wedding, was filled with so much emotion with many trials and tribulations – especially when 3 days until the wedding became 240 days (thanks COVID!). They are still something I pick up when we are going through tough times, to help me remember why I love this man so much! You can either personalize plain journals or you could order some wedding-inspired journals.
Book AN Engagement Photo Session
One of the first things I did after my husband proposed to me – after saying yes, of course – was to book our engagement photo session. We were in Maui and I thought to myself, “this is the perfect setting to tell the story of this beautiful moment leading into the next chapter of our lives and to have these photos to commemorate this magical time”.
My new fiancé thought I was nuts! I got online the day after we became engaged while still in Maui and even asked our masseuse if he knew anyone. It just so happened that his best friend, J. Anthony Martinez was an amazing photographer whom I reached out to immediately and who happened to have an opening the next day. He brought us to an amazing location that only a local would know. It was THE best thing I did because it crossed a big to-do off my list – before I even THOUGHT to create a to-do list! It was so nice knowing we immediately had photos for our save-the-dates, wedding website, wedding invitations, and even our Christmas cards that year!
If you are ever in Maui and want an incredibly talented photographer, it just so happens that my niece, Jasmyn Foley also has her own photography business and will take such good care of you.
Roll With the Punches
Rescheduling a wedding during COVID was not what I had in mind when I began planning our wedding almost two years before – but then again, who thinks about the possibility of a global pandemic happening during your dream wedding? My best advice to you: You can’t control everything, at some point you need to roll with the punches if you’re going to maintain your peace and serenity.
Don’t lose sight of the fact that your wedding is one day (or a weekend in our case), but your marriage is (hopefully) for the rest of your life. My mantra during this time was, “it is what it is, don’t make it good or bad – it just IS!!” Your wedding will be a reflection of the love you have for one another if you don’t get caught up in trying to control everything. We decided to have fun with the COVID requirements and hand-delivered “flight safety packages” to our guests that hung in there with us, which included personalized face masks, face shields, hand sanitizer, and wipes for their plane ride.
Decide on a Budget
Will you be paying for the wedding? Will family members be helping out – if so, how much can they contribute? Ask the hard questions right away! This will determine how big of a wedding you will be able to have. Before you start falling in love with venues, dresses or flowers – you need to know a dollar amount that you can spend and know what limits you need to set for individual items.
There are suggested percentages of your budget that you should stay within, for example: it is recommended that you plan on spending about 50% of your budget on the venue and about 10% on your wedding attire. Knowing these suggested amounts will help you figure out how much you have to spend in each of those areas. So don’t even look at a venue that will cost you $60K when you only have $10K to spend. Doing this first, takes a lot of the emotion out of your decisions, as opposed to back ending into it. You can also maximize your budget by repurposing items you already have or borrowing items from friends – this will help stretch those dollars.
You may have always dreamt of having a huge wedding but once you realize how expensive it is to feed and entertain all of those people, you may decide on a more intimate wedding. You will even want to plan on giving yourself a little wiggle room for unexpected costs – last minute changes due to weather, hidden costs, medical emergencies, travel delays, etc. Bottom line: begin saving money right away. A wedding shouldn’t mean putting you and your loved ones in debt!
Destination vs. Hometown Wedding
I want to really encourage you to think about a destination wedding. I have planned two destination weddings – my wedding and my sister’s and they were both epic. You definitely have to consider the fact that you might have smaller numbers of attendees at a destination wedding. This might not be a bad thing. You might not have to deal with crazy uncle Walter creating drama and drinking too much if he has to travel a distance to your destination wedding – big plus! It also alleviates those “obligatory invites” because they probably won’t make the trip. Sorry to be so blunt, but this is one of those rare days you get to be selfish about what you want your wedding day to be.
One of the things I loved about our destination wedding in Mazatlan, Mexico was the fact that we got to spend 4 – 5 days with some of our favorite people on this planet. All of our guests told me that it was one of the best trips they had ever taken and one that created lasting friendships. It’s difficult to create that experience at a one-day wedding celebration. In my opinion, you are giving your guests the gift of an exciting vacation and an experience of a lifetime. Having our wedding at an all-inclusive resort made it so easy for guests to book their reservations, hangout together or do their own thing.
All of the resort vendors were in one location and our resort wedding planner made the whole process a dream! We flew down a year before, stayed for a week and met with local vendors that she arranged to come meet us at the hotel. At the end of that week, we had our wedding coordinator, our venue, florist, photographer, videographer, live musician and all of our food and cocktails picked out. Wham-bam thank you ma’am!! (See the list of our vendors at the bottom of this post). I don’t think our wedding coordinator EVER told me no to any of my requests! She was amazing! “Can we have fireworks at our reception?” “Why yes you can!” “Could someone from your staff livestream our wedding on Facebook for us so that loved ones who couldn’t make it, can watch the ceremony?” “Sure! No problem!” If you do decide to have a destination wedding, I recommend giving your invited guests at least a year’s advance notice to give them time to put aside money to save for the trip.
There are pluses to having a wedding in your hometown or close to where you live – you will likely have a lot more people attend if they don’t have to travel far. If it is more important to you to have Grandma Sullivan or even your beloved pets there, then this might be a better option. Very little of my family attended our wedding and that was a risk we were willing to take to create the wedding of our dreams. You need to weigh all the pros and cons. Do what makes you and your hunny happy. I have a girlfriend that was ready to elope to Paris with her fiancé and then he voiced the fact that he wanted family to be a part of their big day, so they pivoted to a neighbor’s vineyard for their wedding and reception instead.
The Dress!
In my opinion, the dress sets the tone and feel for the whole wedding. It’s a big decision, so give yourself (and the sanity of the dress shop you order from) at least a year’s lead time. Keep in mind that it typically takes six to eight months for a dress to be produced, you will also want to allow time for at least two fittings and alterations to be made. This gives you time to look at dresses online or in magazines, book appointments at several salons and try on a lot of different types of dresses before you order your dream wedding dress.
Think of your budget for your wedding attire (veil, shoes, undergarments, accessories) – not just the dress. This way you can determine what your budget for your dress will be and don’t try on dresses that exceed that budget.
ADDITIONAL TIPS FOR FINDING THE PERFECT DRESS
Purchasing a dress is a milestone moment for any bride, so here are some additional tips I have:
- When it comes time to try on dresses – don’t bring a big entourage for the first visit – wait to bring a big group after you have narrowed it down to your favorites. Only bring the person or people who are there for you and will listen to your likes and dislikes, then give you constructive feedback.
- Try on anything and everything – you never know what might look good on you. So many dresses look better on your body than they do on the hangar. Trust your bridal consultant.
- Pay attention to the structure within a dress, boning gives a dress shape and structure. These dresses often look good in every picture and enhance your shape and best features.
- Take a lot of pictures of yourself in dresses. This will help you evaluate which styles you prefer and what you like and dislike about the dresses after the excitement of the moment has worn off. You will want to objectively look at the dresses.
- Make a girls day of it. I brought my two daughters with me and we made a whole weekend of it. That trip will forever be one of the most special times of my life and I will never forget the moments we spent together.
- Shop on a weekday. Weekends are very busy for bridal salons and you might not get that personalized service on a weekend. Take a personal day from work and make appointments for 3-4 salons.
- Look for trunk shows by your favorite designers. You will often get 10-20% a gown and accessories during a trunk show plus they often bring gowns that aren’t usually carried in the store – giving you the opportunity to try on one of a kind gowns.
- Consider trying on a family member’s previously worn wedding gown. My sister wore my mother’s wedding gown and it was so incredibly special and beautiful. There are also great websites that feature previously worn wedding gowns or gowns that you can rent! Check out Rent the Runway or Borrowing Magnolia for great options.
Talk to Your Friends and Family
Don’t be afraid to reach out to friends and family that are very detail oriented – they will be a great resource to bounce ideas off of and help you search for ideas to help make your dream wedding come to fruition. Amanda was my go-to because I knew her attention to detail was important, so I knew I could run ideas by her and she would give me great feedback. She helped me with so much of my wedding and even helped me create our welcome swag bags for our guests! We would have had to pay thousands of dollars for these beauties, but instead paid a couple of hundred dollars by having a fabulous DIY girls’ weekend! Crowdsource ladies!
My girlfriend recently got married and saw all the crafty stuff I did for my wedding and asked me to help her create her seating chart on an antique mirror, which became my wedding gift to her. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and utilize the talents of your loved ones – it will save you time and money as long as you are clear about what your vision is.
Choose Your Wedding Party Carefully
Just because they are family, doesn’t mean they need to be in your wedding party. Choose people who are going to truly be there for YOU! This is one of the few days in your life when you can be unapologetically selfish. You might be saying, “well that’s easier said than done Jen!” My recommendation is that you need to be very matter of fact about this. The people you choose to stand beside you should be the people who have your back and are your biggest cheerleaders, not your biggest critics.
Your wedding party will be the people that help make sure your special day goes off without a hitch. They will be the ones to plan and attend your bridal shower and bachelorette party, to keep drama away from you on your wedding day and help create a magical day for you and your spouse. Most importantly, they should be there even after the wedding when you hit those rocky moments in your marriage and remind you why you married this wonderful person. If they don’t meet those requirements, they shouldn’t be standing next to you! Mic drop!
BONUS TIP: Save the Date Video
One thing I am so happy we did, was create a Save the Date video that we emailed out to all of our guests. We sent the video out about nine months before the wedding to give people a feel for this amazing destination that we were going to. Once again, I worked with my soul-sister, Amanda, and her amazing creative talents to create this video using iMovie. I was able to get promotional footage from the resort that we incorporated with our engagement pictures and video we took at the resort. We wanted people to get excited and be able to picture themselves at this beautiful place and experience an incredible vacation in addition to sharing our wedding experience with us.
We also provided information on our wedding website that gave them all of the details to book their stay. I think it’s a great alternative to a Save the Date card and it allows you to share a video that shows glimpses of your personality and a sneak peek of your wedding venue. There are so many user-friendly types of video editing software out there, so don’t think you have to be in some high-end production studio to create something beautiful.
Wedding Video
Step into our dream day by watching our unbelievable wedding video. Don’t skimp on this detail of your wedding. Every year, my husband and I watch our wedding video on our anniversary and we are immediately transported back to that magical day.
If you are in the midst of planning a wedding, good luck and enjoy the process!! It can be an absolute blast if you are organized and give yourself the gift of time.
xoJ
OVER TO YOU
If you just love reading about weddings or want to get ideas for someone you love, I hope you have picked up some great tips. Feel free to leave a comment below, I would love to hear from you!
2 thoughts on “Jennifer’s Tips for Stress-Free Wedding Planning”
Jennifer! Your wedding was truly magical! I loved being included from my home via Facebook live stream! I dressed, did my makeup, lit some candles, popped some champagne and celebrated you and your love??✨
Linda, you are an absolute blessing! Thank you for being one of my biggest cheerleaders! I pray that all of our followers have a friend like you in their lives! I love you and adore you! xo J